Mad woman

Paul is sitting in front of the computer, debugging over some code whose logical structure closely resemble a pile of spaghetti in a five dimensional space. Like many other Chinese white collar workers in this city, like Frank, Samuel, Lily, Jinglebell and Ihatecoke, their original Chinese name can only be vaguely reminded by their genetic parents, during public holidays.

He is eager to get things done before Jan 23, a very important day, the day he will be dressed up well, have half day off, and go to a rock concert, performed by the Finish band Nightwish. He already booked the ticket for 480 RMB and have since kept it very secretly. He knows otherwise some woman, more precisely his girlfriend, would be very mad knowing this, as he chooses to spend half night listening to another woman yelling, and worse, he paid for it.

So there is one woman very mad about it, and her name is Tarja. Tarja was the vocalist of Nightwish and only got dismissed last year for arguable reasons, replaced by a Sweden woman whose voice sounds so Within Temptation. She is still mad at the band, because although she hates to tour with the whole band, she hates it even more when the whole band is on tour without her.

She dialed the number of one of the globally most wanted terrorists, and was received by a sweet voice.

"Hello there, this is the office of Mr Unspeakable, To blow off some building, please press the button 1; to assassin some government officials press the button 2; to buy a weapon of mass destruction press the button 3; to order a T-shirt reads "Be terrorized and relax" press the button 4; to talk to Mr Unspeakable in person press the button #.

Tarja pressed the button #.

The same sweet voice sounds again. "Hello there, Mr Unspeakable is on a desert golf game with some very important guys from CIA. I am his 2nd secretary and 101st secret lover, can I take a message?" “Sure," said Tarja, "I am Tarja, just ask him to do me a favor and I will return him with my best hits collection." "That's very sweet." answered the sweet voice merrily, "What can we do for you?" "Mess up a concert, by blowing off the Hongkou Stadium in Shanghai and a couple of hundred nearby buildings. I want a full scale revenge against those who betrayed me, and terrorize all people in Shanghai who has potential not to listen to me." "That's very sweet." said the voice, followed by some sounds of typing, "wait, why in Shanghai, or say, China? Nightwish is going to US in a few months, isn't there a fonder place?" "Can't you see that? I want to make it big, as big as a blockbuster movie. The X'mas season ended one month ago and the Chinese new years is coming in a couple of weeks."

Apparently this reason is very convincing but the voice doesn't seem to be very convinced. "Okay, but look, to blow off building in China still doesn't sound as a good idea." "Why is that?" "Well, basically there are three reasons. First, those buildings, essensially speaking, are not even as valuable as the explosives to take to blow them up, they will smash themselves someday when their design lifetime, which is very short, expired, so why do we bother? Second, Chinese people, in general, are so cool on these blowing things that they can read those online news over lunch about coal mine blasting taking away the life from a couple of hundred workers and say oh, not again, then keep on watching videos of a short-skirted female dancing, so I will assure you they will choose to forget about it well before the eve of Chinese new year. Third, Mr Unspeakable just recently invested a couple of billion dollars on real properties in Shanghai seeing the potential their prices can shortly catch up with those in Manhaton, so it's definitely not of his interest to do as you suggested."

"So, what else can you do for me?" asked Tarja.

"Nothing." said the voice, "Sayonara." Promptly was the phone hanged off.